BAY AREA, CA—The time is 8:30AM CDT, and Carleton students across the globe are tuning into their 1a Zoom calls. Many Carleton professors have advised their students to treat online classes with the same level of professionalism they give to their in-person meetings.

Sophomore Emily Combs entered her Zoom call at 9AM CDT with her head barely above her blanket. Combs was resting her head on her pillow, looking as if she was still in bed. 

Student reports say that upon her entrance, the call’s chat box displayed her plea for empathy: “V sorry I’m late, but I’m on Pacific 😴😴😴don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee 🤪”.

The Salt reached out to one of Emily’s classmates, junior Ben Wilke, who is currently social-distancing from Milford, Connecticut. Wilke stated, “being on the West Coast wasn’t a personality trait on campus, and it isn’t one now”. 

Attempts were made to reach out to Emily herself, but evidence on her Snapchat story suggests that she is currently busy defying social-distancing orders by hanging out at her local beach.

—Kristin Albright