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Category Archive: College Life

Carleton College Announces its New Reality TV Show: “Settle in Ten Weeks or Less”

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Happy holidays to you and happy Cuffing Season! Our PEACOCK PRODUCTION ENTERTAINMENT NOW team at NBC is partnering […]

‍ December 28, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life

Fellow Math Major Wants You To Know He’s Not An Incel, He Just Hates When Women…

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Headline Only –Grace Hague

‍ December 4, 2020 College Life, Yikes

Minnesota Department of Health Expresses Concern About Carleton “Primal Cough” Tradition

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—Joey Silknitter

‍ November 21, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life, Headline Only

Oscar the Penguin Decorated for “Most Compliance to Community Covenant”

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NORTHFIELD, MN –– In a startling move, Stevie P. has announced that Gould Library’s avian resident is to be […]

‍ November 15, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life

Poskanzer Drops Bon Appetit in Favor of Dunkaroos to Offset Financial Losses

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NORTHFIELD, MN –– In the era of COVID-19, a great number of Carleton’s students sadly did not return […]

‍ November 14, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life

Campus Goats Moved to Olaf; Facilities Searching for Carleton Students Willing to Consume Grass

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NORTHFIELD, MN –– “We desperately need to get rid of all this grass,” vented Ray Beckler, Carleton’s Grounds […]

‍ November 13, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life, Uncategorized

Covid Cases Rise after Musser Residents Realize Quarantine Dorms are a Significant Improvement

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NORTHFIELD, MN –– Cases spiked this week after Musser residents realized that quarantine dorms are significantly nicer than […]

‍ November 7, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life, I'm A Dumbass

“Back in My Day…” Starts Senior’s Story About Lukewarm Party Scene Freshmen Are Missing Out On

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Headline Only — Grace Hague

‍ November 3, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life

Ten Ways to Start Drama for Your Own Entertainment Because Nothing Interesting Has Happened This Term

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*sips tea* — Grace Hague

‍ October 28, 2020 College Life, Headline Only

Player for The CUT Relieved He Remembered to Put the Frisbee Emoji in His Tinder Bio

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Headline Only — Grace Hague

‍ October 28, 2020 Carleton Specific

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