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St. Olaf Establishes “Virginity Club;” Makes Sense

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‍ April 12, 2021 College Life, Headline Only

Dean Livingston Defends COVID Stance: “We Were On a Break!”

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In a recent interview with The Salt, Dean Livingston denied responsibility for any possible COVID outbreak this week, […]

‍ March 30, 2021 Carleton Specific, College Life, Yikes

Musser Resident Spills Water; Entire Campus Shuts Down

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‍ February 19, 2021 Carleton Specific, College Life, Headline Only

Nation Eagerly Awaits Results of Georgia Secretary of Agriculture Runoff

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Clayton, GA — Today, millions of Democrats took to social media to express their support for Georgia Secretary […]

‍ January 5, 2021 Outside the Bubble, Yikes

Carleton College Announces its New Reality TV Show: “Settle in Ten Weeks or Less”

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Happy holidays to you and happy Cuffing Season! Our PEACOCK PRODUCTION ENTERTAINMENT NOW team at NBC is partnering […]

‍ December 28, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life

Fellow Math Major Wants You To Know He’s Not An Incel, He Just Hates When Women…

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Headline Only –Grace Hague

‍ December 4, 2020 College Life, Yikes

Minnesota Department of Health Expresses Concern About Carleton “Primal Cough” Tradition

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—Joey Silknitter

‍ November 21, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life, Headline Only

Oscar the Penguin Decorated for “Most Compliance to Community Covenant”

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NORTHFIELD, MN –– In a startling move, Stevie P. has announced that Gould Library’s avian resident is to be […]

‍ November 15, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life

Poskanzer Drops Bon Appetit in Favor of Dunkaroos to Offset Financial Losses

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NORTHFIELD, MN –– In the era of COVID-19, a great number of Carleton’s students sadly did not return […]

‍ November 14, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life

Campus Goats Moved to Olaf; Facilities Searching for Carleton Students Willing to Consume Grass

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NORTHFIELD, MN –– “We desperately need to get rid of all this grass,” vented Ray Beckler, Carleton’s Grounds […]

‍ November 13, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life, Uncategorized

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