Nation Eagerly Awaits Results of Georgia Secretary of Agriculture Runoff

Clayton, GA — Today, millions of Democrats took to social media to express their support for Georgia Secretary of Agriculture candidate, Mark Cooper. Many credit it as the most important race of our lifetime.

Mark Cooper is well known for his stance on sustainable farming, agriculture subsidies, and raisins (he’s against them). Many have praised him for his fearlessness in telling truth to power and being unafraid to take on big corn. He tells it like it is, and people like that. 

Indeed, it’s hard to get around Mark Cooper’s sheer charisma and overwhelming knowledge of crop rotation. Raised on a farm himself, he’s been immersed in agricultural issues since childhood. Cooper’s interest in pursuing a career in public service was palpable when he was only 6 years old. By the time he was 7, he vowed to one day become Georgia’s third ranking agricultural officer.

Tonight marks the end of a bitter, months-long campaign against his opponent, John Baker, who has been often criticized over his controversial “America First” grain distribution plan. Endorsed by Bon Appétit, many see John as an industry insider who won’t create any real change. 

That being said, some voters appreciate that Baker will preserve their traditional way of life. Many have criticized Cooper over his so-called “hypocrisy” in his disdain for ordinary garden weeds but support for legal marijuana. Cooper’s slogan “Yes Weed Can” has been the subject of much debate, even among party insiders, but has nevertheless remained a central feature of Cooper’s messaging since mid-October.

The race is still too close to call, but check back later with The Salt for more updates.

—Kevin Clelland