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Category Archive: College Life

Campus Goats Moved to Olaf; Facilities Searching for Carleton Students Willing to Consume Grass

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NORTHFIELD, MN –– “We desperately need to get rid of all this grass,” vented Ray Beckler, Carleton’s Grounds […]

‍ November 13, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life, Uncategorized

Covid Cases Rise after Musser Residents Realize Quarantine Dorms are a Significant Improvement

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NORTHFIELD, MN –– Cases spiked this week after Musser residents realized that quarantine dorms are significantly nicer than […]

‍ November 7, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life, I'm A Dumbass

“Back in My Day…” Starts Senior’s Story About Lukewarm Party Scene Freshmen Are Missing Out On

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Headline Only — Grace Hague

‍ November 3, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life

Ten Ways to Start Drama for Your Own Entertainment Because Nothing Interesting Has Happened This Term

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*sips tea* — Grace Hague

‍ October 28, 2020 College Life, Headline Only

Player for The CUT Relieved He Remembered to Put the Frisbee Emoji in His Tinder Bio

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Headline Only — Grace Hague

‍ October 28, 2020 Carleton Specific

QUIZ: Is your neighbor having sex or listening to rousing speeches by Dwight D. Eisenhower?

‍ October 27, 2020 College Life

Black Smoke Emanates from Smokestack as New Carleton President Remains Unelected

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Headline Only –– Photo Credit: Christopher McTaggart (modified)

‍ October 27, 2020 Carleton Specific, Headline Only

3rd Musser Plug Sues Sustainability Office for Copyright Infringement

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NORTHFIELD, MN––In response to the Carleton Sustainability Office’s “Green 2 Go” initiative, local 3rd Musser plug Josh Jacobs […]

‍ October 25, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life

Local Freshman Boy Understands Robert Frost on a Deeper Level Than You–And Needs To Tell You All About It

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Headline Only — Grace Hague

‍ October 25, 2020 College Life

Moodle Reminders Growing Increasingly Ominous

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‍ October 25, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life, Headline Only

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