By: Jonathan Elwell

NORTHFIELD, MN — Carleton has long been at the forefront of sustainability technology, with not just one, but two windmills that provide between 0 and 100% of Carleton’s energy needs. But ever the innovator, Stevie P has decided to take this a step further.

“I think it’s great because Carleton is a school that has always been leading the way for sustainability on college campuses,” Poskanzer said. “And after we carefully invested our time and energy in ignoring their divestment campaign, their rage and frustration should be a large source of energy for years to come.”

This is only the latest development in long string of recent efforts by the school to fully utilize the natural resources of the area, including the annoyance of neighborhood townies and the horniness of local squirrels.☐