By: Alex Mackiel
PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA — Across the nation, parents are clamoring for the debut of an all-new drone design, the Watcher X300, that will take care of babies for however long parents need them. This development is an upgrade from last year’s design, which promised all the same reliefs from the chore of raising a crying, useless expense on the family. Unfortunately, the design had the battery power of an iPhone 4.

“Last year, we were right in the middle of eating dinner, when we heard a loud thud and the baby crying,” said Steve Murrberry of Palo Alto, California. “Immediately, we rushed to grab batteries for the sputtering machine. We also had to take our son to the hospital ourselves. I never want to go through that experience again. I wasted a whole hour of taking the baby to the emergency room when even a cheap-ass X200 could have done it for me.”

Here are some of the new developments and accompanying benefits associated with Watcher X300:
o Carries baby and rocks it to sleep in almost any situation, so parents, whether they are at a shopping mall or restaurant, have free hands to continuously shovel food into their mouths.
o Responds to baby’s cry in the middle of the night by anesthetizing the baby back to sleep.
o Transports baby to far away location.