Mysterious Half-Finished Ark Found on St. Olaf Campus After Northfield Flood Recedes


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By: Dylan Larson-Harsch


NORTHFIELD, MN – Northfield residents awoke to a strange sight this morning: a partially-built wooden structure standing in the center of the St. Olaf campus.

Experts believe that in its finished form, the structure, made of cypress wood, was meant to traverse water, similar to a boat, though its archaic design has raised questions.

“I bet there hasn’t been a boat built like that since Biblical times,” said Dr. Karen. R. Hammersmith, a Professor of Nautical Studies at Harvard University. “I’ve certainly never seen one like it before.”

One student, Agnar Svalbard, ’18, was seen leading a pair of cows away from the St. Olaf campus, and agreed to an interview.

“Not this time, but the next,” Svalbard said. “We will be ready.”

When asked to elaborate, Svalbard declined and ushered his cows away, muttering under his breath.