By: Gaby Tietyen-Mlengana

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Dr. Ben Carson, 2016 Republican primary candidate and neurosurgeon, will become the first person in the world to attempt surgery detaching “fair” from “housing.” Carson was also the first person to successfully detach conjoined twins.

Carson admits he was surprised and somewhat concerned when he heard of President Trump’s decision to appoint him to an important cabinet position. “Trump private messaged me that I was going to be the next Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. I tried to tell him about my limited experience in urban development, but for some reason I could not send over 140 characters, so I just accepted it.”

President Trump informed Carson through Twitter that his duties included filing papers and answering calls. After Trump tweeted a second time commenting on the state of fair housing, it became clear why he picked the famous surgeon. This was a dangerous operation that would require only the best.
Carson said, “I immediately thought back to my surgical days, and I knew that the only thing that I could was surgically separate “fair” from “housing.”

The operation will take place at James Madison Hospital on February 19th, 2017 at 12:00PM.

Despite some skepticism, Carson is confident in his ability to complete the surgery. “I mean, if I couldn’t do the job, why would Trump have picked me?”