Trump Promises That America Will Exit the EU

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By: Sarah Leong-Fern

This week, President Donald Trump announced that he plans to pass a bill, the America For Americans Act, removing the United States from the European Union.

He remarked disapprovingly about the EU on Tuesday morning, tweeting, “Under Obama, we have wasted 1.7 billion on failed EU. Sad! THIS ENDS NOW!”

To clarify, spokesperson Kellyanne Conway went on several news channels in the evening and suggested, “Perhaps in the heat of the moment, he meant to say NAFTA and simply misspoke. Or he could have been referring to the UN. They sound very similar, you know? EU. UN.” After Conway’s interview, the Dow plummeted, causing some economic analysts to compare the announcement to the fall of the pound after Brexit.

Trump clarified his tweet on Thursday, saying, “I gotta tell you, when I heard what the EU hasand did you hear?I was shocked, I gotta tell you. It’s appalling, what they’re doing, that over the border you can just come and not even have a passport? From London to France, you can just go without a passport!”

Immediately after his “London to France” remark, confirming that he indeed had been referring to the European Union, the Dow experienced a recovery, and at present is doing only slightly worse than it was on Tuesday morning.

[UPDATE: The Salt would like to confirm for some confused readers that the United States is not a member of the European Union and never has been.]