Jesus Opens Seasonal Attraction: “The Lord Works in Mysterious Maize”

pasted image 0
Images courtesy of Flickr

By: Kate Hoeting

MARSHALLTOWN, IA—As October reaches its peak, nobody quite embodies the fall spirit like the son of God.

“I try to do something a little festive every year,” Jesus said, sipping a pumpkin spice latte.

This year, Jesus has set out with an entrepreneurial venture that raises the bar for prophets everywhere. His corn maze has attracted thousands of Iowans, who seek a festive fall day and forgiveness for their sins.

“At this point in my career, I feel a real calling toward corn maze design,” Jesus said. “It really matches my skill set. After all, not everyone can turn water into apple cider.”

But for Jesus, the maze is more than just a field of vegetables.

“Corn mazes were a big part of my childhood,” he says. “I went to one with my Father almost every year.”

After finishing his interview Jesus sat on a hay bale and gathered the children around for a sermon on pumpkin carving.