By: Jelilat Odubayo

MARS—Yes. ‘Tis true. I am from Mars. No, not Africa. For real. Mars. I came to Carleton through a program to learn about Earth. So far, I have liked my time here. I am still fascinated by much of the culture here in America— particularly the fetish-like nationalism of your leadership. I’ve also grown an affinity for fried foods, greek yogurt, and avocados.

Actually, it was quite a privilege to be the first and only volunteer to come to this planet. The directors of the Earth-to-Mars Co-Op figured your Earth had at least four more years of survival until you were all swallowed by rising sea water and irreparable climate change. Good luck!