NORTHFIELD, MN: Carleton’s room draw selection can be a wonderful thing for first years. It can create lifelong friendships, bring about a strong sense of community, and last but not least, ruin lives. Case in point: freshmen who have the misfortune of being assigned to Cassat.

While Cassat is a fantastic place to live, its spacious rooms and homey, hospital-like appearance trick first years into thinking that it only goes up from here.

Freshman Evan Evans notes, “When I saw my room in Cassat for the first time, I couldn’t believe it. I get fucking heated floors, and all my friends in Musser get are shower shitters.”

But come sophomore year room draw, these freshmen are in for a rude awakening–as sophomore Sophie Murphy was.

“Walking into my Watson double was…disappointing,” Sophie recalls tearfully. “I guess Cassat was just too good to be true.”

So to all the first years out there thanking (Crane) God for their fabulous living situation, enjoy it while you can–and keep in mind that you’ve officially peaked.

-Jordan Fues