OMAHA, NE—The Carleton endowment suffered a 20% drop in trading last Friday after a series of bizarre tweets from eccentric multimillionaire Wally Weitz (’70).

Chair of the Carleton Board of Trustees, Weitz took to Twitter early on May 3rd, angrily writing “LIBERATE NORTHFIELD” and demanding that campus house basements be reopened. While the Tweets were well received by some, investors responded by hurriedly dumping shares of stocks associated with Carleton’s endowment, causing its value to drop to a quarter of Grinnell’s.

President of the College Steven Poskanzer quickly aimed to do damage control, sending a campus-wide email to quell the fund’s volatility. When asked about the endowment crash, Poskanzer downplayed the role of Weitz’s tweets. “I really don’t think there’s much of a connection,” he said, also noting that “Wally might just be a bit stressed about the upcoming birth of his new son C π R-10.”