Nation Unsure if Deleting Emails is Worse Than Sexual Assault

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By: Paulina Hoong

WASHINGTON, D.C. Researchers at American University reported that Americans are still unsure whether or not sexually assaulting women is more morally reprehensible than deleting emails. Voters have come to a consensus that the worst thing one of the candidates has done was sexually assault women, and the worst thing the other candidate has done was using a private email server. A week out from the Election Day, many voters remain undecided.

To further investigate the sentiments of the American people, The Salt met with a few members of society who can’t decide if deleting emails is less ethical than groping women without their consent. We travelled across the United States to find Mark Miller, a member of the National Rifles Association from Blue Earth, Minnesota. “I think it’s disgusting that Clinton has deleted so many emails with sensitive State Department information. She’s a nasty woman.” When asked about the tape of Donald Trump describing him sexual assaulting women, he said, “I guess that was gross too, but Trump was all talk when that happened. However, we know for a fact that Clinton deleted all those emails.”

In Claypool, Indiana, investment banker Maggie Sylvester said, “Does deleting emails have a higher impact on individuals than the 81 percent of women and 31 percent of men who report post-traumatic stress disorder after being sexually assaulted? We have to consider that deleted emails will lead to ISIS invading into US Territory! Both scenarios are equally bad.”

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