By: Madi Ho

NORTHFIELD, MN — While attempting to purchase overpriced pencils in the bookstore, freshman Jonah Fredrickson made contact with a registered Republican.

Fredrickson, originally from Portland, Oregon, was deeply shaken by the encounter. Witnesses report that even hours after the event, Fredrickson continued to roam Sayles in search of friends and acquaintances who could identify with her bizarre experience. Later, Fredrickson absently into space in front of her, pretending to do a reading for her political science class “but like, not really doing it.”

Hoping that her experience could remain an isolated event, Fredrickson filed a Community Concern Form.