By: Brynne Diggins

When I went on my first date with Sam, I didn’t know how lucky I was. His two-day-old stubble, soft brown eyes, and tousled hair had captured my attention the first time I saw him. As I sat next to him at the coffee counter, I cackled at every joke he cracked.

Sam scooted closer to me as the date went on, and after I said something cynical, he put his smooth hand on mine and said “You’re so hot!”

Yep, he’s right! My normal body temperature is a steamy 120 degrees Fahrenheit—perfect for any cuddle buddy situation.  

As I looked into his brown eyes, which were as rich as the coffee we were drinking, he remarked, “Wow, your eyes are so dark and deep?”

I couldn’t believe how insightful he was! My eyes are black holes burrowing into the eyes of the innocent humans as I suck their souls out. I felt so noticed. So understood.

As the date was drawing to a close, Sam pulled me closer and ran his hands through my hair. “Oh, your hair’s so thick. Are those knots at the top of your head?”  

He was on to something! I do dry shampoo my hair every morning to keep it coarse and stringy. It accentuates my horns.

As we left the coffee shop, Sam turned to me and said, “Wow, Jenna. I had a great time. You’re not like other girls.”
Sam was right! I’m a demon from the third ring of hell.