Student Enters Japanese Garden Without Smoking Weed

Images courtesy of Wikimedia Commons and Pixabay

By: Kate Hoeting

NORTHFIELD, MN Before his 2a, philosophy major Jared Tellem entered the Japanese Garden behind Watson Hall. During the entirety of his stay, he did not smoke a single joint.

In 1974, the college built the garden to provide a peaceful space for students to roll fat-ass blunts. But Tallem has discovered that the garden can have other uses.

“I consider myself an innovator,” Tallem said. “So when I walked into the garden last week, I decided to just kind of sit there. Without a joint in my hand. Alone. It was like, meditation or some shit like that.”

Since then, Tallem has entered the garden multiple times without inhaling the sweet stench of the devil’s lettuce.

“Honestly, it’s kind of nice,” Tallem said. “It’s totally a space for quiet reflection. Who knew that the garden could help relieve stress?”