New Professor Finally Realizes She Doesn’t Have To Prove Herself


By: Katie Hawkes

NORTHFIELD, MN — Joanna Agnest, Carleton’s newest political science professor, has finally realized that she doesn’t have to prove her expertise to her students five weeks into term.

Agnest, who has a PhD in Political Science from Northwestern University, says, “I felt a constant, burning need to make sure that my students knew that I was smarter than them.”

But now, Agnest has realized that college students are dumb little shits, and has relaxed accordingly.

“It was really those little poli sci assholes,” she said. “They loved to constantly challenge my credentials and bring up obscure, inapplicable articles they read half of. Now that I know they’re all just hungover and bluffing through class, I finally feel confident.”