By: Paulina Hoong

NORTHFIELD, MN—Last Sunday, sophomore Mae Lindersan showed up at the Info Desk Lost and Found.

She leaned over the counter and asked, “Hey, so I lost my virginity last night. Did someone happen to come and return it?”

Unfortunately, the attendant could not find her virginity in the bins.

Edit: Lindersan’s virginity was found at the Lighten Up Garage sale.