New Haven, Connecticut — To show their support of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, Brett Kavanaugh’s former Yale fraternity ∆KE announced that next Tuesday will be “Ladies Drink Free Night” at the self-styled Delta Haus.  

“We hated to see the way that Dr. Ford was being treated in the press,” said Chad Bradford III, who goes by C-Dawg with his fraternity brothers. “So we really just wanted to show the ladies how much we, you know, support and appreciate them. And what better way than with free Malibu for all the girls that show up to Delta this Tuesday! Third house on the left, right next to that one that got shut down for pushing that pledge off a bridge.”

“Allegedly!” Shouted one pre-law student from across the pong table.

-Shane Zerr