Office of Health Promotion Dejectedly Scrawls Zero on “Days without Student Transport” Chalkboard

SAYLES HILL — After a particularly boisterous Saturday night, Office of Health Promotion office assistant Jennifer Goodwin shuffled over to the prominently displayed “Days without Student Transport” sign. After gazing apologetically at Tica the SWA Dog, Jennifer curled the cuff of her bright green SWA shirt over her hand and rubbed off the former record 17 days. “Fucking Milk Schnapps” she was heard sighing as she dejectedly scrawled a big 0 on the board. 

—Shane Zerr