Evans Quad Deletes Fortnite

Northfield, MN –

”Where we droppin’, boys?” is a question any given male group of friends would ask each other on Friday night before getting hammered. But the answer this time isn’t Titled; it’s in the trash.

Last Tuesday, local sophomore quad, Evans 009, made the tough decision to finally delete Fortnite.

“It was just really killing the vibe of the room”, said one resident, Zack. “I really just hated being in the room every time I heard the sound of the storm closing in.”

While Zack was the room’s biggest advocate for deleting the popular video game, the other roomates supported the decision as well. “We did enjoy playing it,” said two of the residents,  Felix and Don. “But at a certain point we realized it was time.”

The fourth roommate, Delroy, had other reasons to delete the game. “We weren’t winning enough,” he said. “Plain and simple. Too much time was being put in for not nearly enough return. Yeah, we were pretty consistently getting top 5, no doubt. Even top 3 was happening a good amount. But that shit don’t matter if it ain’t a fuckin’ dub, nah mean?”

As 10th week approaches, the residents claim that this choice was the right one. “Things are gonna get busy with finals coming up, ya know. We need to stop hitting the chug jug and start hitting that books. I’m just glad we have that timesuck out of our lives,” Zack said while logging his 8th consecutive hour on Red Dead Redemption 2.

–Dan Clipper