NORTHFIELD, MN: With spring term coming right around the corner, elected Carls will soon begin the process of booking a headliner for 2019’s Sproncert. To aid in this difficult decision, us here at The Salt present a solid headliner option: Avril Lavigne. Here are the pros and cons of booking Avril for this highly-anticipated spring term event.

Pros:

• Will see for ourselves whether she’s actually still alive or not
• Can drunkenly scream along to the 2007 hit “Girlfriend” without any shame
• Probably isn’t more expensive to book than T-Pain was
• Will make Sproncert an enjoyable experience (for once)

Cons

• Could accidentally support the body double who’s been stealing Avril’s identity since 2004
• Lavigne peaked with her role as Heather the opossum in Over the Hedge

Jordan Fues