NORTHFIELD, MN– “Students will be provided yet another opportunity to expand their knowledge about social dance,” explained Ed Gruberman, chair of Physical Education, Athletics, and Recreation at Carleton College.

 “This time, however, students can rest assured that they will not have to interact with each other.”

Gruberman confirmed that graduates of PE 142: Antisocial Dance I will find themselves enjoying social events on campus in a completely new way.

“This 10-week intensive analyzes the top thirteen evidence-based strategies to avoid social interaction. The first three days are dedicated to mastering the ability of seeking shelter in the corner of a room during a party.”

Reporters from The Salt made numerous attempts to touch base with the student teachers of Antisocial Dance I. A response has yet to be received.

– Joey Silknitter