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Brave Man Creates Healing Circle for Rapists

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By: Kate Hoeting NORTHFIELD, MN – In a world filled with threatening feminists and decent humans, one small […]

‍ October 13, 2016 College Life

Freshman Smokes Oregano, Is “Lit”

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By: Paulina Hoong   NORTHFIELD, MN – Last Friday, freshman Sam Williams declared that he was “lit” after […]

‍ October 13, 2016 College Life

Professor Defends Shitty Assignment as Part of ‘Liberal Arts Education’

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By: Morgan Ross NORTHFIELD, MN – As his students protested the banal and repetitive assignment that he previously […]

‍ October 13, 2016 Carleton Specific, College Life

God Asks For Another Extension on Apocalypse

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By: Sam Orfield THE HEAVENS – Having overslept again, The Creator of All Things leaped out of his […]

‍ October 13, 2016 Outside the Bubble

Student Informs Peers of 50% Irish, 38.6% Swedish, and 10.2% Norwegian Ancestry

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By Paulina Hoong NORTHFIELD, MN – During the New Student Week “#CarlTalk: Cultivating Inclusion on Campus,” first-year students […]

‍ October 13, 2016 College Life

Stevie P Catches Cold, Fitness to Serve as President Called Into Question

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By: Morgan Ross NORTHFIELD, MN – After exiting early from opening convocation while profusely blowing his nose, Carleton […]

‍ October 13, 2016 Carleton Specific

Dean To Conduct Investigation Into Allegations of Bias In Their Previous Investigation Into Allegations of Bias In Sexual Misconduct Case.

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‍ October 13, 2016 Carleton Specific, Headline Only

Campus Construction Traps 125 Students in Closed Loop

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By: Noah Goldman NORTHFIELD, MN – It seemed like just another Monday morning for Carleton student Anita Morales. […]

‍ October 13, 2016 Carleton Specific

Cave DJ Plays Song People Actually Want To Hear

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By: Paulina Hoong NORTHFIELD, MN – Last Friday, during The Semiannual Pumpkin Uber-Rave at The Cave, an unprecedented […]

‍ October 13, 2016 Carleton Specific

Mysterious Half-Finished Ark Found on St. Olaf Campus After Northfield Flood Recedes

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  By: Dylan Larson-Harsch   NORTHFIELD, MN – Northfield residents awoke to a strange sight this morning: a […]

‍ October 13, 2016 Carleton Specific

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