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Lonely Carl Satisfies Urge to Socialize By Calling Hulu Customer Service

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BOULDER, CO — Sophomore David Peterson did not expect a simple call to Hulu customer service to change […]

‍ June 16, 2020 College Life, Outside the Bubble

“Spring Term, No Rules,” America Announces

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According to global correspondents, the United States of America announced “Spring Term, No Rules” last week following the […]

‍ June 5, 2020 Outside the Bubble

New York Times Unveils New Protest-Coverage Dr. Seuss Titles

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‍ June 3, 2020 Outside the Bubble

Struggling to Articulate, Political Science Department Decides to Withhold Opinion for Once

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NORTHFIELD, MN—The Carleton Political Science department waited a week to send an email addressing the George Floyd killing, […]

‍ June 3, 2020 Uncategorized

White Woman Who Called Police Four Times Last Week Can’t Find Time to Call Her Reps

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CW: Racism, mention of violence towards black individuals Karen Formee, a white woman, attracted ire last week after […]

‍ May 29, 2020 Outside the Bubble

I didn’t spend 8 years training to be an Eagle Scout to be turned away from this Orlando Airport USO!

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Look I get it.  Just because I’m in a khaki and olive uniform and part of a storied […]

‍ May 25, 2020 Outside the Bubble

Amid Fears of Electronic Coronavirus Transmission, Carleton Announces Radical Plan to Deliver Fall Term via USPS

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NORTHFIELD, MN—Depending on where each Carl was calling from, it was a rainy, sunny, overcast, stormy, and partly […]

‍ May 15, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life

Stevie P Helpfully Clarifies Absolutely Nothing in Recent Email

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‍ May 9, 2020 Carleton Specific, Headline Only

Breaking News! This Year’s Room Draw Only Applies to Dorms in the Carleton Minecraft Server

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–Jordan Fues

‍ May 9, 2020 Carleton Specific, Headline Only, I'm A Dumbass

PDT Carl Won’t Shut Up About Being a PDT Carl

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BAY AREA, CA—The time is 8:30AM CDT, and Carleton students across the globe are tuning into their 1a […]

‍ May 9, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life

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