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Category Archive: College Life

War Crime Tribunal Held For Student Caught Smuggling Bagels Out of LDC

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NORTHFIELD, MN — Monday night, the Bon Appetit secret police apprehended sophomore Jimmy Stonehouse as he was attempting […]

‍ October 18, 2018 Carleton Specific

If Everyone Reading This Article Donated $5, Our Fundraiser Would Be Over Today. Please Help Us Buy This Sick Jet Ski

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NORTHFIELD, MN– The editors of The Salt depend on donations from generous readers like you. Please help support […]

‍ October 18, 2018 Carleton Specific

Not a Drill: Fire Burns Down Muss

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NORTHFIELD, MN- Just yesterday, the Musser Hall fire alarm went off for the fourth time this term, but […]

‍ October 18, 2018 Carleton Specific

Freshmen in Cassat Already Peaked

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NORTHFIELD, MN: Carleton’s room draw selection can be a wonderful thing for first years. It can create lifelong […]

‍ September 22, 2018 Carleton Specific, College Life

CRANE Cult Successfully Summons Tornado

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NORTHFIELD, MN: On Thursday evening at about 7PM, the Carleton Rationalists Against Normal Experiences Cult gathered for its first […]

‍ September 22, 2018 Carleton Specific

Students More Likely to Buy Half-Used Makeup Wipe than Lightly Worn Jeans

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NORTHFIELD, MN—Senior Rachel McMartin gave her Comps presentation last Friday morning. Her topic of choice? The spending habits […]

‍ May 3, 2018 Carleton Specific

Man Walking out of Northfield Liquor Definitely Not Just Two Kids in a Trench Coat

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NORTHFIELD, MN – That guy walking out of Northfield Liquor? He’s 34. You may have thought two 12 […]

‍ May 3, 2018 Carleton Specific

Paul Ryan Announces 2022 Presidential Bid for Carleton College

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NORTHFIELD, MN—In an interview late last night, Paul Ryan explained his decision to not run for reelection in […]

‍ May 3, 2018 Carleton Specific

“Spring Term No Rules” Doesn’t Apply to 97% of Students, Survey Finds

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‍ May 3, 2018 Carleton Specific, Headline Only

Report: Student with Writer’s Block just Fucking Dumb

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NORTHFIELD, MN – After weeks of speculation, multiple sources have been able to confirm that Carleton Sophomore Andrew […]

‍ May 3, 2018 College Life

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