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Friday Flowers in Adjacent Mailbox Give Student False Hope

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NORTHFIELD, MN– Here we go again. After an extra early 1a exam, sophomore Lily Rose was looking for […]

‍ March 2, 2020 Carleton Specific

Carleton to Offer PE 142: Antisocial Dance I in Fall 2020

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NORTHFIELD, MN– “Students will be provided yet another opportunity to expand their knowledge about social dance,” explained Ed […]

‍ March 2, 2020 Carleton Specific, College Life

Bloomberg Campaign Threatens to Split the Billionaire Vote

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WASHINGTON, D.C.– What was supposed to be a night of merriment at the Pelotons for Africa Gala Fundraiser […]

‍ March 2, 2020 Outside the Bubble

Area Student Glad to be Less of Hot Mess than Iowa Caucus

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NORTHFIELD, MN –– It was one hell of a 4th week for senior SOAN/Stats double major Oliver Wehlmd, […]

‍ February 17, 2020 Outside the Bubble

BREAKING: Carrie Underwood Apologizes for Damage Done to “Pretty Little Souped Up Four Wheel Drive”

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NASHVILLE, TN — Country star Carrie Underwood has officially apologized to Farmers Insurance for the damage she caused […]

‍ November 1, 2019 Outside the Bubble

Doctors HATE him: local man won’t stop throwing eggs at clinic

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For the fifth time this week, Northfield physician Dr. Jason Schaffets arrived at his Division Street health clinic […]

‍ November 1, 2019 I'm A Dumbass, Outside the Bubble

URGENT: Michael, Please Give me Back my Barstool Sports Snapback

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Michael I’m serious please you’re being such an asshole. I literally lost it Friday at Dixon and it’s […]

‍ November 1, 2019 Carleton Specific, College Life

HOW TO: Pretending to Care When Someone Mentions A Song That Isn’t “Hey Ya” by Outkast

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Smile, nod, and say “I liked their earlier stuff better” Mention “Hey Ya” by Outkast –Katie Hawkes

‍ November 1, 2019 Headline Only, Outside the Bubble

Student Attempts to Walk Further into Sayles, Discovers It’s a Mirror

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–Anika Jones

‍ November 1, 2019 Carleton Specific

Rich White Guy at Carleton Listening to DaBaby Realizes He’s a Rich White Guy at Carleton listening to DaBaby

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NORTHFIELD, MN — In a bout of Einsteinian revelation, junior SoAn major and CUT player Kyle MacLachlan realized […]

‍ November 1, 2019 Carleton Specific, College Life

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