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STD Goes Airborne

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By: Emma Stewart DIXON HOUSE, MN—The Carleton administration announced Monday that a new form of Hepatitis B was […]

‍ May 12, 2016 Carleton Specific

Goodhue Secedes

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By: Kate Hoeting THE REPUBLIC OF GOODHUE, MN — Early Thursday morning, President Poskanzer woke to the sound […]

‍ May 12, 2016 Carleton Specific

Cutting-Edge Research Discovers New Technique for Initiating Healthy Sleep “lying flat on a mattress”

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By: Alex Mackiel SPRINGFIELD, IL – Cutting-edge research has recently revealed a powerful new technique students can employ […]

‍ May 12, 2016 College Life

SHAC Prescribes Salt Packets to Student with Degenerative Disease

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By: Paulina Hoong NORTHFIELD, MN – Last Wednesday, sophomore Carl Vue checked into Carleton’s Student Health and Counseling […]

‍ May 12, 2016 Carleton Specific

In Anticipation of Scoville Remodel, GSC, OIIL, Moved to St. Olaf

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By: Dylan Larson-Harsch NORTHFIELD, MN – Citing the impending renovations to Scoville Hall, Director of Facilities Stephen Spehn […]

‍ May 12, 2016 Carleton Specific

Monkey Escapes Hulings Basement, Gives Powerful, Non-Verbal Convocation Speech

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By: Morgan Ross NORTHFIELD, MN –  A cotton-top tamarin monkey escaped the lab of Carleton Professor Julie Neiworth […]

‍ May 12, 2016 Carleton Specific

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